Now here is a problem: Neckties

I don't actually need to wear them too often so neckties aren't much of a problem for me. In fact I quite like them, I find them pretty. Nevertheless on behalf of all the perplexed souls out there who wonder why it is necessary to walk around with a piece of fabric knotted (in the most complicated manner) around their neck, even though it might be 32°C outside, I will come up with a solution.

But first some history. Who came up with the idea of neckties?

You will not be surprised to know that the origin of the necktie as we know it today can be traced back to the French.

...although they stole the idea from the croatians. In 1620, during the Thirty Years War, Croatian mercenaries fought in the French services and one way of spotting them was to look for their typical neck tie. The French quite fancied those silky scarves and started copying them. It wasn't long till a huge fashion craze started. Shortly after, every Parisian and his/her puddle dog was pansying down the street in this attire. 

Through the years the necktie has taken on various forms: bandanas, scarves... and today the necktie has become the key element of any formal wear. That's the history of the necktie in a nutshell. And for all you necktie haters out there who are reading this blog I want to add this comforting piece of information: you are not alone in hating ties. There are actually some real anti-necktie movements. Google it; you might be able to join. Among other things these associations argue is that there are many health risks with neckties. Personaly I can think of quite a few. For example; a tie caught in the door of an elevator. I am sure that it is what happened to this poor man.    

This is a sign found in elevators in Sweden. I am not sure what the message is, but it is very likely that it warns us of one of the hazards of wearing a necktie.

But let's come back to the initial question. Why just neckties? Why not somthing else? Can we not find something more practical to wrap around our necks. Like, for example:

A Jedi sword. You never know when you might need one. OK, fine, probably not that often, plus they are very hard to get hold of. Why not then....

A lunch box! Maybe a bit too heavy... and, true, you don't need to eat all the time. But you must admit it is quite practical...

 

Here is my final solution: 

A boa, a real boa...

Solution 3

I am back! I lied to you. I didn't go time traveling. I was working. Since no one has contacted me regarding art commissions etc I was obliged to take on a seasonal job.

Dave Freeman the co-author of 100 things to do before you die (which included land-diving in the South Pacific, night nude surfing in Australia and running with bulls in Pamplona) sadly passed away less than two months ago. The irony he died after falling over in his house and hitting his head. Very sad.

Apparently in his book, he had included grape picking in France as being one of the 100 things to do before you die. I don't actually know if it is true because I haven't read the book, but in any case I object! Grape-picking is a nightmare, an awful experience and you should defenitely not feel that you should do it before you die.  Or if you do it, do it as the 100th thing because you probably will die shortly afterwards. This is what my back looked like after the first day.

First of all it was raining all through day 1, 2 and 3. And I was wearing sandals (ok my own fault). But also you have have to share one room and one toilet with 20 other people, for 10 days. Finally you get paid peanuts, a sack of potatoes and a slap on the behind. My solution to this problem is :  

and get an other job.

Invention 2

The world in my eyes seems to have been running quite smoothly this past week and I haven't been able to pin point a specific problem. Therefore I have not been able to come up with any solutions either. Well there is one problem. I don't have enough time. So even when there is a problem I don't have time to come up with a solution. But with my new invention it won't be a problem anymore. Here is the invention number 2 .... A time machine. If you look closely I have set it to take me back to the year 1982. I wanted to be a witness of my own birth.  

I am going to spend this week experimenting with it so it might be a while until my next post. I'll probably be back last week or in 10 years. Au revoir.

Invention 1

My scanner works! All I needed to do was to plug it into the computer. They are tricky these things. Anyway here is my invention for the problem discussed earlier (August 23). It involved a shop assistant who makes life difficult by not understanding what you want. This is the solution I came up with. 

Fiction disclaimer: Characters, character names, locations , situations, businesses, corporations etc... are all products of the illustrators imagination or are being used fictitiously. Any ressemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Scanner

You have all probably been waiting for this absolutely wonderful solution that I was going to come up with. Unfortunately I have been subject to my own incompetence in making the scanner work. So you'll have to wait until my technician sorts it out for me. Meanwhile I'll post another very relevant illustration. I am not sure what it is but it has to do with polyatomic robots and the big bang. I was given a patent for it and am hoping to get it published in a school book or something. Maybe it will be printed in a research magazine. Maybe this has something to do with the cure for measles.

The world is unfair

The world is a cruel place to live in. There are wars, famine, Ryanair check-in policy. The world is unfair. The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting bigger and Kylie Minogue receives an OBE for her services to music. The world is also somewhat stupid. Why is there braille on an ATM key board when a blind person would probably not be able to read the screen anyway?
Every day is a constant battle. For example I walk into a shop and ask the expert " I am trying to get Internet at home, could you help me and maybe recommend an appropriate Internet server to match my needs?"
He says: " Yes, you have to look it up on the Internet"
Me: " eh... Well that's the thing, I don't have Internet, how do I choose..."
Him: "You have to look it up on the Internet!"
Me: "But.."
etc...
After years of struggling to make sense of it all, I have found it necessary to offer the intelligent Internet world another blog dedicated to silly things that happen around us. However being that I am an optimist and also very very clever, I have taken it upon myself to come up with some practical solutions that if applied will improve our quality of life. Hopefully you will put into practice some of the suggestions and together we can make the world a better place. So hold on to your hats, as next week I will come up with the perfect solution for the situation described above.