MY FIRST TIME IN BLOXHAM AS GABRIELLA

Bloxham!!! When I first came to Bloxham I felt ... normal. I mean this is my 9th time that I am without my parents. And also I came here with Bella, my friend from Bulgeria. So I felt good and happy that I am going to try a new thing. Because the other times I was with my school or my sister. So I was glad to be here. And the first thing that I knew was that I am going to have a lot of fun!!!

Cardboard City Art show

Hi there,

It has been a very, veeeery long time. Actually it has been a year since I last wrote in this blog. Shameful really... not only do I have to deal with a torn conscience caused by the fact that I can't find a solution to the problems of pigeons... but I also live in fear of a good flogging by one of my followers, Maple Syrup, who checks this page everyday for a new entry. It is partly my fault since I did end my last entry by "Come back tomorrow for a new solution", hoping people wouldn't take it too literally. Maple Syrup has been "coming back tomorrow" every day now for a year...

But let's not dwell on all these things we said we'll do and never did... I am back now and for good, very good reasons. I wish to invite you all to my show:

The Show is at:

Acquire Arts Gallery,

155 Battersea Park Road,

SW8 4BU

Friday 25th to Sunday 27th of June 2010.

All are welcome. I look forward to seeing you there. And you can take that literally.

Hello, hello, hello. How are you all? Well I have just moved back to London., and I'll tell you one thing: there are serious problems here. They are just coming up to me, every day, smacking me on the face. I can't even count them. It's too much! It does me head in. Problems!

One problem is: pigeons. I don't understand the point of pigeons. Birds in general are a bit scary. I don't know what to expect from them when they hover about the sky like they do. But Pigeons! Not only are they scary, they are also nasty, dumb and mean.  I'll come up with a solution. Oh! And I'll also come up with a solution for the problem of pollution, that seems so be a problem here too. So, come back tomorrow and see when I kill two birds with a big fat stone.

Now here is a problem:

Yes, that's right, the suit. Why, I ask, have we settled for the suit (trousers, shirt, jaket and tie) as being today's international formal wear? This issue, I know, is quite similar to the one about ties, yet it requires another solution. 

Through the centuries the formal dress has taken on different forms in Europe. Take for example the Greek chlamys:

the medieval costume complete with Florentin hose, pointy hood and poulaine shoes :

and the baroque ensemble à la Louis XIV:

Can you notice the variety in styles? Are you impressed by the eclectic mix of coulours and fabric? I am. And that is why I don't understand why we have, for over a century now, chosen to stick to the basic straight-cut-trousers-shirt-jacket-and-tie suit. And it frustrates me because there are so many different contemporary dresses to choose from. For example the African boubou, the Indian Kurta Paijama or the beautiful Barong Tagalog from the Filipines. But no! The SUIT is the lingua franca of the formal wear!

Fine...Let's not get our paned trunk hose in a knot. I've come up with some solutions. Please have a look at my latest designs, which are inspired by popular fashion:

The manager's suit:

Signs

Signs are a funny thing, they are. Last  time I posted an image of a curious one found in elevators in Sweden. At second thought I don't think it had any thing to do with ties. I still don't know what it means, so if you know its significance, please inform me. 

Signs can be confusing. For example, my friend told me this one meant: "Careful! Heavy umbrella!"

Well it doesn't mean that. It means Men at work. It's confusing so I suggest a better sign. An international one:

Men at work

Now here is a problem: Neckties

I don't actually need to wear them too often so neckties aren't much of a problem for me. In fact I quite like them, I find them pretty. Nevertheless on behalf of all the perplexed souls out there who wonder why it is necessary to walk around with a piece of fabric knotted (in the most complicated manner) around their neck, even though it might be 32°C outside, I will come up with a solution.

But first some history. Who came up with the idea of neckties?

You will not be surprised to know that the origin of the necktie as we know it today can be traced back to the French.

...although they stole the idea from the croatians. In 1620, during the Thirty Years War, Croatian mercenaries fought in the French services and one way of spotting them was to look for their typical neck tie. The French quite fancied those silky scarves and started copying them. It wasn't long till a huge fashion craze started. Shortly after, every Parisian and his/her puddle dog was pansying down the street in this attire. 

Through the years the necktie has taken on various forms: bandanas, scarves... and today the necktie has become the key element of any formal wear. That's the history of the necktie in a nutshell. And for all you necktie haters out there who are reading this blog I want to add this comforting piece of information: you are not alone in hating ties. There are actually some real anti-necktie movements. Google it; you might be able to join. Among other things these associations argue is that there are many health risks with neckties. Personaly I can think of quite a few. For example; a tie caught in the door of an elevator. I am sure that it is what happened to this poor man.    

This is a sign found in elevators in Sweden. I am not sure what the message is, but it is very likely that it warns us of one of the hazards of wearing a necktie.

But let's come back to the initial question. Why just neckties? Why not somthing else? Can we not find something more practical to wrap around our necks. Like, for example:

A Jedi sword. You never know when you might need one. OK, fine, probably not that often, plus they are very hard to get hold of. Why not then....

A lunch box! Maybe a bit too heavy... and, true, you don't need to eat all the time. But you must admit it is quite practical...

 

Here is my final solution: 

A boa, a real boa...